Integrating with a new Foreign Teacher (FT) can be hard, be sure to follow these simples rules and tips for a happy and harmonious relationship!

Always ensure that the FT feels completely smothered and overwhelmed
Goods ways to achieve this are:
- go round to FTs apartment all the time without invitation.
- Enter FTs apartment without knocking
- Read and go through FTs emails
- Go through FTs rubbish
- Rummage through papers on FTs desk while FT is in the bathroom
- Telling FT that you are going out for dinner but really take them to a Korean Bible reading meeting

Make sure FT has transport
This may include driving the FT on the wrong side of the road, stopping in the middle of a motorway, driving through red lights and doing make up while driving.
If the teacher becomes a nervous wreck due to the driving, get the FT a bike. However be sure to follow the FT home on the 5 minute ride, shouting directions out of the window, stopping traffic and completely embarrass them.

Socialise with FT
Guilt FT into going out for drinks. Offer to drive home FT home while drunk and in 2 foot of snow. When FT refuses and walks the 5 minutes home. Consistently call FT every 5 minutes and wait outside their apartment. Ensure that FT catches a cold by waiting outside the apartment for at least 10 minutes while FT hides behind a lorry.

Make sure FT has lots of friends
Introduce FT to your friends and then ban FT from seeing said friends as they are a bad influence and drink too much.

Make sure that the FT knows that you are ALWAYS watching them
Good ways of doing this is to subtly ask about a new restaurant in the neighbourhood. When FT confirms its existent. Tell FT you know they already know the restaurant as you have interrogated the chef about how many times FT has been there and who with.

Insist on knowing everything about FT personal life.
Persistently ask why FT does not have a boyfriend. Insist that FT must be a lesbian if FT says that boys are too much trouble.

Value your FT
An excellent way to do this is to sleep in class while FT is teaching. Nothing shows interest like a sleeping co-worker!

Ensure that proper English is always taught.
Especially sentences like ‘Can I take a bread/milk.’ If FT disputes the grammar of these sentences then tell FT it is American grammar. If FT still disputes, then tell them it is Canadian grammar.

Detailed ‘lesson planes’
Always ensure the ‘lesson planes’ are thorough and included in-depth information such as ‘student wriing difficult thinking'

Help to increase the confidence of FT.
An excellent way to do this, is to break FTs chair to give them a complex about their weight. Be sure to break their chair at least twice but DO NOT tell them. This is much more amusing when they sit on it and fall on their arse in front of students!

Communication
Ensure that communication is great by forcing Korean lessons on FT. Have lessons at the FT apartment and turn up with lots of friends and force FT teach your friends English. When FT complains about having their house invaded and wants the lessons some where else, ask them ‘is it because your house is dirty?’

Give great advice and support to FT when they need help
Great ideas are helpful tips like ‘Hit the kids or give them crackers if they don’t answer questions’.

If FT comes to you for support because one of the students is being naughty. Be sure to just send the student back into the classroom allowing you go back to sleep.

Always be late.
A FT will always work better if they have been waiting outside in the cold for 30 minutes.

Respect FT personal space
Always invade FT personal space, this can include trying to dress them, trying to hold their hand and general shoving around.

Ensure your personal life is kept personal
Feel free to have personal conversations within the office. Especially ones that include trying bribe your professor to change your grade to a higher one to ensure you have more TOEFL points for a new job you are applying for.

Holidays
If FT questions why they have to work during their holiday time, scream and shout at FT and tell them it is their responsibility to. If FT has already booked flights, demand that they change the flights. If FT asks if they will get paid for working during their holiday accuse them a being a lazy money grabbing foreigner.

Following these tips will definitely lead to a happy FT who will absolutely re-sign to build upon the joyous relationship that has been formed!